“I Aim to Misbehave”

I’ll admit it: I’m excited about Diablo III. I played the shit out of 2, and the 20 minutes of gameplay they previewed had me drooling. Okay, but hold that thought for two years. At least I hope it’s out in two years.

New video card, and my computer is much happier. Age of Conan actually runs smoothly now, not like a half constipated turd. And now I see what all the fuss over dx10 is. Yeah, shit looks good.

My future plans are moving more towards the set in stone phase, which is also good. I heard about a job I had wanted, and it turns out it fits my soon to be school schedule better than I had imagined. So, school is set, work is set, I just have to nail down a place to live. But looking around online, I have found that Milwaukee is quite a bit cheaper than Chicago, which bodes well for me. For the price I’ve seen things in Milwaukee, I’d be forced to live in some very unsavory places in Chicago, by my recollection. Of course, my recollection isn’t always as accurate as I want to believe. Still, it’s back up to the cold soon. I imagine it will be a welcome change from the humid ass weather we get here most of the year.

So, left on the to do list–find a place to live and buy a car.

Actually, that last one is just about set, too. Hopefully it works out better than my last PoS.

What a week! Glad it’s over. I’ll tell you all about it later. For now, understand that it was utter hell, and that the depths of bullshit into which I have stepped know no bounds.

But enough of that.

Tonight I leave you with some sage advice:

“Light a man a fire and he will be warm for the night. Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.”

I cried last night. About something in a movie I saw.

I cried today. About a situation that is forcing my hand to act.

I cried everyday. About the one girl I have ever loved who will probably never be.

And then I thought about the way things were. And I thought about the way I wanted things to be. And I saw my whole life, laid out before me. A future that could be, if only I deserved it.

I don’t deserve it.

I don’t know what the right thing to do is anymore. I only know what I feel I must do. And maybe I feel it must be done because it is the right thing do to. I found the easy way out of a bad situation, and I took it. And now I look back at those left behind, and I’m one of the ones who can speak. It will most decidedly make life infinitely more complex for the next few months. But sometimes, you just don’t have a choice. In the end, it will probably fall on deaf ears. In the end, it will cost me a job I was leaving anyway. Ind the end, nothing will change. But even that is not enough to stop me from doing what I feel is the right thing to do.

God, give me the strength to do what is right.

God, let me deserve something good in life.

Got, let me find my way.

I got nothing.

Someone else say something pointless.

Well, I came up with a plan, and I’m going to see it through.

This fall, it’s back to school. Luckily, only for a short while. After that, a career change. This life of not making money has gotten tiresome. It was all well and good when it was fun. But somewhere along the line, the fun part kind of got lost. I’m not sure where it went, but I know for damn sure why it did. But it’s no use pointing fingers at idiots, even if the blame clearly rests on their overpaid shoulders. The question is whether or not I make it to the end of my official contract or not. The situation is getting… well… complicated. I hate it when things get overly complicated. And somehow, this situation has gone beyond that.

Truth be told, I’ve had enough of this town. Time for a change. Time to move on. I might have found a nice little job that will fit well with a school schedule–especially when that school schedule is entirely online. Ah the wonders of modern technology. So, while I was originally hoping for a full time job in Milwaukee, that didn’t pan out. Then I changed gears and was looking to move to Chicago and get part time work while going back to school, which I might have done blindly. Now, it looks like the plan is Milwaukee once again. Funny how that works.

Anyone know anyone in Milwaukee who wants to rent a place to me and my two cats?

Well, back to work in less than twelve hours. We’ll see what happens, but my predictions are not unlike that of the Magic 8 Ball–”Outlook not so good.” For now, I’ll just treat it like waking into a room someone has just farted in. I’ll hold my breath and try to run through as quickly as possible.

It’s going to suck.

Well, it was a long week, but it’s basically over. Though I do count tomorrow part of it. But there was some good news over the course of the past few days. I’ll see what comes of it.

Back to work on Monday, and I’m not really looking forward to it.

I got nothing.

Someone else say something that hopefully won’t get lost since this blog keeps deleting all the comments randomly.

I’m nearly at the end of my current unemployment period. Back to work on Monday. But, sadly, I’m not really looking forward to it. It’s only for a few weeks, and the on to other things.

Speaking of which, some things are finally beginning to fall into place. Or at least I’m hoping and praying that is what is happening. There’s still a large amount of uncertainty, but a few good things have happened on the way, and I remain cautiously optimistic.

I just hope it all works out.

I know what I want. I know how I want this story to end. Now it’s just a matter of waiting to see how all the pieces fall into place.

Something has come up today.

Something that is potentially good.

Can’t say much more than that right now.

More later.