Published by wmtbohica on 25 Jul 2009
“That’s a long wait for a train don’t come….”
Let me start of by saying that I appreciate the beauty of being on vacation. I really do. Especially if that vacation entails tropical islands, beaches, palm trees, rain forests, oceans, that kind of shit. It’s really choice. If you can go on one, I recommend you do. Then again, not everyone can drive a Ferrari.
That being said… Are these idiot tourists for real? I mean, damn, people, how stupid can you be. Let’s take the bus, for example. The bus is a mode of public transportation. Every major city, and tons of the smaller ones have a bus. But for some reason, it seems that our breed of tourist has no idea how to use a bus, especially if they are A) white, B) between 24 and 76, and C) from the USA. “Is this the bus to Lahaina?” Does it say Lahaina on it? No, it’s says Kapalua. Therefore, I think we can safely say that this is NOT THE FUCKING BUS TO LAHAINA. Maybe the one behind this one that fucking says LAHAINA on it is the bus to Lahaina. Or maybe the tricky Hawaiians are trying to pull a fast one on you.
Now let’s talk about tourists in Starbucks. I suppose I’m over the fact that they even go to Starbucks, or McDonalds, or Pizza Hut, or look for an Applebee’s while on VACATION in HAWAII. But, hello, this Starbucks works like EVERY OTHER Starbucks in the US. Yes, your giftcard works here. Yes, we have internet. Yes we make the same damn drinks that your Starbucks back home makes. And yes that drink that looks like an Iced Grande Caramel Macchiato that is the only drink sitting on the bar IS in fact an Iced Grande Caramel Macchiato, so really, why are you asking me three times if it is an Iced Grande Caramel Macchiato. Of course, when there are 7 drinks on the bar, you DON’T ask and just take and end up taking someone else’s drink. But whatever. You’re also the kind of person that gets a Hawaii Starbucks Card and puts $5 on it, then spends the $5 the next day and gives your friend an empty Starbucks Giftcard as a souvenier from Hawaii. Wow. Big spender. You just gave your friend a gift that cost nothing. AND you did NOTHING to help the Hawaiian economy. Jesus Christ. Get your ass back in one of the local stores and buy a t-shirt and a keychain and a calandar for your friend, you cheap fuck.
And speaking of tourists and Starbucks and buses…. I know Hawaii is a very romantic spot. But on the bus or inside of Starbucks doesn’t seem like the most, well, romantic spot to be, um… damn, just get a fucking room. Your flabby middle-aged lips don’t have to be kissing each other non-stop the whole damn vacation. Hell, even highschoolers don’t kiss that much, let alone make those fucking “lovey dovey” mumbly sounds to each other all the time. For fuck’s sake, act your age.
But then again, I had almost forgotten that in this economy airlines are charging more for everything. I suppose these tourists couldn’t afford to bring their brains with them, what with all the added fees.
Still, don’t act like you’re entitled to some sort of special treatment when you’re out in public just because you’re on vacation.